i have been very ill and bedridden for a month, and may have to enter a hospital at the end of this month if no improvements. i dont know how long til i will recover, but i am feeling ballsy now and wont let anything stop me. i did not want to have to say anything— but i want to let you know that I have not been avoiding or hiding from you. it is just difficult to sit upright at the computer and talk. so please give me your love and support as the only thing i can bare to focus on is my health. please help me so i can do what i was born to do on this earth.